how to brave the Rubicon

on lifeworthiness and projecting strength

One of most compelling qualities in a person is seeming like they have life figured out.

You walk away from a conversation with them feeling good, reassured, even inspired. Like the most complicated things can be simple with the right spirit.

I emphasize seeming because it really is the person, not the life. They may be taking on risk and uncertainty with no safety net, but no one who knows them is worried; they simply think if anyone could pull this off, it’s them.

It’s a quality in people most akin to seaworthiness in ships: buoyant and enduring even in rough waters. The alpha in lifeworthiness (projecting strength, calmness, and stability) is simply enormous.

It is, however, exceedingly rare. For precise observations on what it looks like in day-to-day life and what may be holding you back from being this way, keep reading:

alea jacta est

The die is cast is a saying attributed to Caesar when crossed the Rubicon with an army in blatant defiance of the Senate, beginning a coup that would either end in supreme victory or execution as a traitor.

One wonders what was going through his mind after he gave the command. If he felt any doubt, you can be sure he didn’t betray it.

Maybe I shouldn’t have done this is a natural voice in everyone’s head, but there’s no going back from the things we do, big or small. Reflecting on the wisdom of a course of action is pointless for multiple reasons:

Firstly, second-guessing an action only detracts from your ability to deal with its consequences. You have limited mental energy and focus - you can’t afford to waste it on worrying.

Secondly, fear and discomfort cloud your ability to reflect. While in a state of panic, any action that lead up to it will always feel like a mistake.

Many of the most beneficial things you can do in life are both scary and painful; if you second guess yourself every time you feel bad, you will never get anywhere.

Once you have dealt with the fallout and regained emotional equilibrium, you can and should reflect on your decision making (but not before!)

Here’s the nuance: most decisions in life are not like casting a dice, where everything is made or lost on one moment of courage.

Most are actually like running into a tunnel of indefinite length. You can turn back, and as your legs ache and burn and things only get darker you increasingly wonder if you should.

In such circumstances it feels stupid to simply dismiss all feelings of regret. How do you let fear influence your discernment an appropriate amount?